I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
