I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
sarcasm needs its own font
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
