Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
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