Betty ford says i'm here all night
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
