youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
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