Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
