I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
