He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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