i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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