Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
