Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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