sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
