This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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