What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
BRING THE BAGELS
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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