This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
