I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I need to calm my uterus...
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
