Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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