Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
