so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
