Ambien. No doubt about it.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Randomize
