i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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