Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
