Are we in a gay sports bar?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
