I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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