I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
