fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
