When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
