haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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