We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
