Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
