there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
