He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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