Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
