apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
