Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
