Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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