Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
