how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
