i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Randomize
