How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
