Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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