Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
