shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
