Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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