Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
