i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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