Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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