How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
