i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
