well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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