In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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