well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
